I am not a feminist.

Is it wrong to want to be taken care of? I don't mean getting a free ride financially, but to want to have someone who will step up, take ownership, and be protective. Maybe it's how I was raised, maybe it's because I have a rather old-fashioned view, but it's what I want. And it's something I don't know that I'm getting.

He'll run out to get anything my heart desires, but seems to lack the gusto to movitivate himself (or myself) for the better. I realize responsible for my own motivation, however it's just easier to settle into a funk when you have someone beside who has already slipped into one. He'll help me out to the car if there's snow or ice and make sure I don't fall, but for some reason cannot call the cable company about a bill.

I watched my mother doing nearly everything around the house along with working her ass off for 8 hours a day, while my father would stroll in the front door only to plop himself on the couch. The motto my mother still uses today is "if I don't do it, it won't get done" and I find myself repeating that in my head often. I don't want to be where she is now - 34 years of marriage and she still does everything, while my father will make the occasional run to the supermarket on the weekends.

I don't want to end up resenting Christian like my mother does towards my father, but explaining and talking about it is difficult. The wrong words can start a fight or not make any impact at all. I cannot decide which outcome would be worse.